Since times immemorial, the lives of women (especially in India)
have been controlled by other people (including other women). Somehow people
discover ways to dominate women by exploiting issues that make them feel
vulnerable.
But it is all the more shocking to know that women are
dominated/controlled/ridiculed for the very reasons that make them different
from men. And one such reason is the occurrence of cyclical physiologic events
that a woman experiences as a result of possessing a specialized reproductive
system. Yes, I’m talking about menstrual cycles.
But instead of acknowledging it as a normal and physiologic
activity, people go to the extent of attaching a sense of impurity with a
woman’s monthly cycles.
Just imagine a scenario where a newly wed woman is forced
expected to perform some rituals or prayers in order to provide her husband’s
family a male heir. But once it is known that she is in the middle of ‘those’
days, she is immediately pronounced as untouchable and quarantined into a
remote corner of the house.
How can a normal natural physiological process render a
person impure ? How can a Goddess/God distance herself/himself from one of
her/his own creation just because that creation was functioning normally ?
Do women really need to pray to such a Goddess/God ?
But it is all the more depressing when one finds women (even
young in age) themselves accepting the ridiculous idea of being impure. Someone
once told me that this impurity is actually logical as women in the process of
bleeding would contaminate things they come in contact with. Thus they are
prohibited to enter temples or touch objects (including containers of food)
during ‘those’ days.
I ask, what if the son of the house, having injured himself
falling off his cycle (pun intended) comes to the house bleeding from several
places. Would he be considered impure too ? Would he be prohibited from moving
about and touching things too ? But I guess we all know the answer.
The discrimination mentioned above happens only when it is
known to others when a woman is menstruating. But the shame associated with it
is so much that more often than not, it remains taboo. Even if a female is
going through the worst possible effects (symptoms which include severe cramps,
depression, fatigue, etc.) she cannot disclose the reason for the fear of being
shamed.
Ignorance and insensitivity towards a completely normal
physiological process makes life horrible for most females in a country like India. Having
read quite a bit about the experiences of many females it is evident that even in urban areas, it is not easy for
a female to tackle menarche.
Just spare a thought for the millions of girls in rural India who have
no access to even the help from a confidant and/or knowledgeable mother, or to
the knowledge of health education and health products, let alone have an access
or freedom to go to a pharmacy. Add to it the presence of uneducated and
insensitive people all around and one just shudders at the thought.
No wonder most young girls in rural India are
forced to give up going to a school because of the above mentioned reasons. It
is one of the most serious reasons for the pathetic female literacy rate,
specially in rural India. Our country needs awareness, sensitization and health measures for all such females in rural areas. Even better if the government can provide free hygiene products from the Primary Health Centres across the country.
Many schools in cities are known to conduct sessions to
educate young girls about the health issues they are expected to face. But more
often than not, the boys are kept out of such sessions. What people tend to
forget that boys need as much sensitization towards such issues as girls, if
not more. If young men are not educated about such gender-based issues, they
will grow up being insensitive towards their female counterparts and will end
up using such issues as a means of ridicule or jokes.
Why should a girl be made to feel ashamed of a completely
natural process ? Why should she be denied a chance to explain the reason for
her sickness ? Our country needs serious awareness regarding normal female
physiology (specially for males) in order to tackle the inherent gender
discrimination in our society.
For all the males who think that a female’s periods are
something funny or ridiculous……. Grow up !
For all the people (including nosey MILs and grannys) who
think that every girl becomes impure for some time every month……. Get a life,
and let others live theirs !
Oh...My respect for you just increased a gazillion times. Writing about this as a man..Thank you!!!
ReplyDeleteI am glad that I was raised in a family that did not shun me or ask me to stay in a secluded place during 'those days'.. But everytime I visit my ancestral house...I notice how the custom is still followed and how badly! I am forced to remain secretive about my 'those days' lest they try to force their customs on me.
Of course out of behaviour I do not go to temple and stuff purely because I have been told not to and this has become a way of life.
Red Handed :
DeleteThank you so much for being so generous ! :-)
I have experienced so many stories about this and more so recently, that I had to write about it. I just wonder when people will start thinking logically. And you do not go to temples ? Great ! :D
This is very true & one of the major issues women face apart from eve-teasing...
ReplyDeleteBefore the invent of Sanitary Napkins, the temple priests used to ask the women not to work & to take rest as it is during this period when the women were at their weakest. But this concept was twisted down the years & now women are deemed "untouchable" for those few days!
The weirdest thing is when one goes to buy sanitary napkins, most shopkeepers wrap it as though they're buying drugs & it needs to be hidden...
apragmaticdreamer :
DeleteMaybe that was the cause. But eventually people must have understood that this can be a good reason to control the freedom of females. Hence the twisted rules.
Yes, even I've seen how people make it something very awkward at shops.
Respect. Most men wouldn't write on this topic.
ReplyDeleteAlka Gurha :
DeleteThank you so much for your encouraging words Alka Ma'am. I hope men start seeing things differently not just about this topic but about a lot of other things.
Thank you sooo much for this... Respect. While my family were not discriminating, mum used to try to stop me from playing. And when we couldnt fast when on periods we were forced to pretend otherwise 'men will know' .
ReplyDeleteWhy cant the weomn tell 'Im not fating because I have periods'. Duh!
Sharing this on fb.
Nidaa C. :
DeleteThank you for reading and liking. I never understood why it had to be linked to religion or rituals. As you said, why can't women say it as it is. I guess because people are not sensitive enough towards the issue which thus makes any female uncomfortable to say it out. Things really need to change so that women are not forced to pretend.
Respect from me too!! Today's world needs more men like you.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous :
DeleteThanks for your kind words. :-)
I came too your blog via IHM's...You are the first man I know who has publicly discussed this issue...I wish more men were like you...
ReplyDeleteramblingsbybones :
DeleteWelcome to my blog ! :-) I believe, if men start taking this topic as something normal and not funny or ridiculous, it will only help women to solve the various problems associated with this issue.
dropping here from IHM's blog .. and just a WOW post ...:)
ReplyDeletesimple girl..... :
DeleteThank you for the appreciation ! Do keep visiting. :-)
Respect, most men would choose to turn a blind eye to the topic, whilst some would amuse themselves.
ReplyDeleteI came here through "Red Handed" and Voila! your blog name and mine are similar :)
themindspeaks :
DeleteThank you for the nice words !
It is really amazing to find someone with a similar blog name. Cheers ! :-)