“I’m not eating this…” I exclaimed to Mom while pointing to
the serving of a particular vegetable on my dinner plate with the spoon.
In fact, my demeanor wouldn’t have been much different had I
been turning away a half decomposed dead lizard with a stick.
With all due respects to all the vegetarians out there, but
there are more fingers in my right hand than the number of vegetables I find
palatable. And the present scenario was no exception.
I had barely made my point regarding my dislike towards the
sample of food when Mom declared – “Just wait till she comes…”.
Hearing that sentence has always made me wince. And it made
me wince again. For those of my new readers who still haven’t understood what
that sentence means, well, it is actually a warning used on me with reference
to my better half who is still missing from the scheme of things in my life.
Now, there are a lot of things that people dislike. Each one
of us has a lot of personal preferences regarding small things of everyday
life. And sometimes people expect us to change our habits or preferences
according to their liking.
But coming to the logic (or the lack of it) in the ‘threat’
that I’m often subjected to, why in the world would I want to marry someone
whose sole purpose in life seems to be to make me do all the things I dislike.
Be it my finicky food habits, my preferences in clothes, my
love for sleep, the (dis)arrangement of stuff in my room, my dislike towards
shopping or even my resentment towards tea, I’m repeatedly warned to mend my
ways before ‘she’ arrives.
In other words I’m always in the process of being groomed to
make me suitable enough for marriage.
And then they expect me to show some interest in getting
married ! Really…
I mean you can’t just scare a kid by telling him ghost-stories
about a dark room and then push him to go and sleep in that very room. Doesn’t
work.
What I really don’t get is that why would anyone want to be
with someone for life who wants to change their likes and dislikes to their own
liking. The other day I was reading Red Handed’s post on how girls in India are
continuously under a grooming process for their life in the husband’s home
after marriage. As if a girl should have no personal identity of her own and
shouldn’t have any personal preferences in how she wants to lead her life.
But it is not too different for unmarried males as well who
are under the continuous pressure to act, dress, eat, sleep (and shop) in
certain ways that would attract a prospective bride.
And then they are continuously warned that marriage is
actually the turning point in their lives after which all the ‘faults’ in their
personality will be checked and corrected by none other than their future wife.
Why would I ever want to change anything about my life
partner ? She may have her own preferences in food, clothing and lifestyle in
general. Sounds silly to change the qualities and hence the identity of the
very person you like. The same logic applies the other way round.
But still, I’m continuously subjected to those threatening
words – “Wait till she comes…” !
If only they knew that she is not bothered about changing
any of those things about me… :-)
