Summer is here !
Though different people have different preferences for their
favorite season, my Mom isn’t particularly fond of summers. That is so, because
the scorching heat of the sun drives everyone inside their homes, while the
same heat seems to drive lizards out of theirs. During various hours of the day
my Mom can be found jumping, screaming and running around at the sight of a
lizard while I can be found shooing off lizards of all sizes out of the house
for her.
In spite of my repeated attempts Mom refuses to accept my
views regarding lizards being sober and harmless creatures. On the contrary,
she warns me to have me sent to a mental asylum whenever she notices me trying
to train and befriend the lizard which lives below our refrigerator.
My views about lizards, though appearing to be eccentric,
are not entirely hypothetical. I found out the usefulness which a lizard can be
capable of during my Medical college days.
There used to be a famous annual fair in the city for an
entire month or so that used to start in the evening and carried on all through
the night. During one of our visits to the fair I found a guy on a pavement,
selling fake replicas of animals. I was specially impressed by the replicas of
lizards he had. So, finally giving in to my temptation, I bought a fake lizard
which looked completely alive until one actually touched it. (which wasn’t
something anyone would do if it really looked real ! :P )
I didn’t actually know what to do with it until two days
later I saw a probable use. One of my batch mates, who lived in our hostel, was
a very naughty fellow. He was short, stout, extremely fair complexioned and a
fashion-freak. But he had a huge weakness. Lizards ! The mere mention of the
word could make his spine tingle.
Everyday, he used to come up to my room and knock at the
door. He used to do that mostly at hours when I was asleep. While I used to
groggily open the door, he would quickly hit the electricity switches beside
the door, shut the fan, switch on the lights, grin mischievously, and run away
laughing.
So, this very day, while I was inspecting the brilliant
replica of the fake lizard I had bought, I got an idea. I placed the lizard
strategically on the electricity board so that it just spanned the entire row
of switches. As expected, the naughty guy came up to my room expecting me to be
asleep while I was wide awake waiting for him.
I opened the door a bit more than usual after the knock, and
saw his grinning face as he looked at me while hitting the switches. In an
instant, he felt something was different. As he looked at the electric board
and removed his hand, the strategically placed lizard fell down just as a real
lizard would have fallen.
I have heard about how people pale when they are scared. And
I never thought a person of such fair complexion could pale any further. But
pale he did. And that too in a fraction of milliseconds. I wonder if you can
imagine a person trying to swim, kick a football and do a high-jump back-flip
all together. But I was treated to witness such a spectacle as he did all that
and maybe even more which was beyond my comprehension. And as soon as he
returned to the ground, he made a dash for somewhere as far possible as could
be from my room. And for the next fifteen minutes or so, the inhabitants of our
hostel heard the most spine-chilling shrieks till this guy found a way to make
a dash for the open spaces outside the building.
I had become a big fan of my ‘pet lizard’. :-)
A few days later, our small batch of fifteen students was trying
to survive a class of evening clinical teaching by a junior resident who seemed
to have found the truth about ‘Irritable Bowel Syndrome’ and was bent on
imparting the divine knowledge on to us highly uninterested disciples.
I was seated in the second row of chairs while the first row
was occupied by most of the girls. The resident was seated opposite to us with
just a small table separating us. I thought it a good idea to bring some life
into the proceedings when I saw my immediate neighbor borrowing a pen from the
girl sitting right in front of me. This caught my attention as I was
particularly fond of her. :D
I noticed that she had one of those small purse-like pencil
cases in which she used to keep about fifty assorted pens and pencils. As she
had handed the entire case to my neighbor to pick out his choice of pen, I
quickly reached into my bag for my ‘pet’. I quickly took the case from him, and
as he watched on, I strategically placed the fake lizard below a stack of a
dozen pens. I zipped it up and told him to return it back to her.
After a few minutes, I asked my neighbor to ask her for a
particular colored pen again. And as per my expectations, she decided to find
it herself this time. I watched intently as she unzipped the case and dug in to
find the desired pen. The only sounds in the room were the incomprehensible
blabber of the resident, the ticking of the clock and the heart-beat of my
neighbor.
It is strange how sometimes we never learn from experience.
Just a couple of days back I had seen a guy freak out as never before, but here
I was again, trying something similar in much dangerous circumstances.
And the next moment, there was a loud gasp. I wonder if you
have ever heard a gasp. But everyone there did hear it. Which was instantly
followed by a colored assortment of pens and pencils flying high up in the air.
A couple of them landed on the resident’s head making him shut his mouth and
bring an end to the ‘discourse’. While my neighbor got the desired colored pen
which actually fell onto his lap.
The resident took off his spectacles and glared at her for
an explanation as she tried to catch her breath and told him about a lizard in
her pencil-case. The resident merely commented on her brisk reflexes and her
ultra-sensitivity towards members of the reptile family and finally announced
the dismissal of the class.
As soon as the initial shock subsided, the girl looked back
to have my neighbor for an early dinner through her eyes. But he still had the
courage to point a shaking finger towards me. The case was immediately settled
as she realized that the devil mind behind the adventure was none other than
mine, and she turned away and started to collect the contents of her
pencil-case.
Though she knew it was a fake lizard, but no one else in the
room could find out as I had noticed the lizard falling just beside her chair
and which was now safely hidden below my shoe.
Though I never brought this up with her after that, but I
take this opportunity here to say a little sorry with a smile. :-)
Ohhh… I just heard Mom scream and call out for me. So I’m
off to lizard-shooing business again. Now… where’s the broom gone…….
