You know what… I sometimes wonder how special would Indian girls feel. To be playing the role of a mother, daughter, sister and getting all the admiration that is showered on them.
But when, sometimes, I imagine, what if I was born as a girl in India…. I’m scared to the limits of my soul… !!! Makes my hair stand on end… !! Why ???
Ok. I’ll tell you about a real Indian girl whom I know.
This girl, is as simple as they come. She had always been the sincere daughter as was expected of her. Never ever asked anything for herself. Was always truthful to her parents. Studied hard to become a doctor. Kept studying hard to qualify for higher studies. When suddenly…….
She fell for a guy.
Someone, two years her senior. Someone, who really cared for her. Someone, who reciprocated her feelings in just the same way. Someone, who made her smile even through tough working hours. Someone, who made her feel really special. Someone, who fell for her just in the same way as she had for him.
So, where’s the problem ? It’s going perfectly fine, just like a fairytale, you would say….
Religion it is…. Now you realize this fairytale is Indian…. Don’t you ??
As per her nature, this girl didn’t want to hide her feelings from her family.
You must already be expecting what’s coming round the corner by now….
The bomb had been dropped…. !!! Sacrilege…. !!! Matter of life and death. No…. !!! It’s even more than just life and death. It’s about religion…. And respect….
Obviously, she was greeted with stern disapproval. An outright NO from her brother and mother. They didn’t have the heart to inform her father.
And then begins the tormenting. The increased commotion to find a ‘suitable’ match for her as soon as possible.
This girl, who hadn’t so much as had a proper conversation with any guy all her college life just because her family wouldn’t like it (Yes…. It’s true), gets constantly pestered by the same family now to talk on the phone or even meet total strangers, one of whom would be her ‘match’.
And as she refuses or even hesitates, the mother gets hysterical, stops eating, continues crying and using these as handy emotional blackmailing tools. While the brother tries to gather any cooked up shortcomings of her love-interest and threatens him of dire consequences.
The family are ready to stop at nothing. Even if it means stopping her from pursuing her studies altogether.
Why ?? Because she has let them down…. !
If I may ask,…. How has she let them down ? Is it by being a sincere, honest and selfless daughter all her life ? Or has she let them down by proving her merit in studies ? She could have gone and got married behind their backs. But she chose to tell her family the truth. Yes, she let them down.
If I may ask,…. Is the guy she chose unsuitable ?
Is he illiterate? NO.
Is he uneducated ? NO. Most highly educated.
Is he unemployed ? NO. And with a bright future indeed.
Is he a criminal ? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Is he indecent/manner less ? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Does he indulge in bad habits ? Never drinks. Never smokes. (A rare virtue in doctors these days…. Believe me)
And he has utmost respect for elders and Indian traditions.
So, does being from a different religion over-shadows all other virtues ???
Or does religion or caste decide the real marital happiness ???
And today, I hear the most ridiculous thing of it all. While pressurizing her yet again her mother said something which was…. “I’ve kept you in my womb for nine months. Consider that as a debt. I beg you to repay me that debt now by ending your relationship.”
Is that why parents have kids ?? So they can demand the payment of their ‘debts’ at the expense of their kids’ happiness just to fulfill their unreasonable demands and the desire of a fake respect in the society… ?? The society, that is nowhere to be seen after the wedding dinner is over.
Should all the acts in life and results of relationships be assessed just by the decision of marriage ? Shouldn’t a girl be allowed to choose her own life-partner ?? Should she accept to be tied to a complete stranger who assumes that he owns her ?? Should she be even a bit considerate for parents who feel as if they’ve obliged her by bringing her into the world even though she is a girl ??
It boggles the mind….
But I do sincerely hope and pray to God, that, better sense may prevail and this girl must not face the fate so many other Indian girls face everyday.
And I also hope that more and more Indian girls stand up for not just their rights, but also for their dreams and aspirations.
But when, sometimes, I imagine, what if I was born as a girl in India…. I’m scared to the limits of my soul… !!! Makes my hair stand on end… !! Why ???
Ok. I’ll tell you about a real Indian girl whom I know.
This girl, is as simple as they come. She had always been the sincere daughter as was expected of her. Never ever asked anything for herself. Was always truthful to her parents. Studied hard to become a doctor. Kept studying hard to qualify for higher studies. When suddenly…….
She fell for a guy.
Someone, two years her senior. Someone, who really cared for her. Someone, who reciprocated her feelings in just the same way. Someone, who made her smile even through tough working hours. Someone, who made her feel really special. Someone, who fell for her just in the same way as she had for him.
So, where’s the problem ? It’s going perfectly fine, just like a fairytale, you would say….
Religion it is…. Now you realize this fairytale is Indian…. Don’t you ??
As per her nature, this girl didn’t want to hide her feelings from her family.
You must already be expecting what’s coming round the corner by now….
The bomb had been dropped…. !!! Sacrilege…. !!! Matter of life and death. No…. !!! It’s even more than just life and death. It’s about religion…. And respect….
Obviously, she was greeted with stern disapproval. An outright NO from her brother and mother. They didn’t have the heart to inform her father.
And then begins the tormenting. The increased commotion to find a ‘suitable’ match for her as soon as possible.
This girl, who hadn’t so much as had a proper conversation with any guy all her college life just because her family wouldn’t like it (Yes…. It’s true), gets constantly pestered by the same family now to talk on the phone or even meet total strangers, one of whom would be her ‘match’.
And as she refuses or even hesitates, the mother gets hysterical, stops eating, continues crying and using these as handy emotional blackmailing tools. While the brother tries to gather any cooked up shortcomings of her love-interest and threatens him of dire consequences.
The family are ready to stop at nothing. Even if it means stopping her from pursuing her studies altogether.
Why ?? Because she has let them down…. !
If I may ask,…. How has she let them down ? Is it by being a sincere, honest and selfless daughter all her life ? Or has she let them down by proving her merit in studies ? She could have gone and got married behind their backs. But she chose to tell her family the truth. Yes, she let them down.
If I may ask,…. Is the guy she chose unsuitable ?
Is he illiterate? NO.
Is he uneducated ? NO. Most highly educated.
Is he unemployed ? NO. And with a bright future indeed.
Is he a criminal ? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Is he indecent/manner less ? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Does he indulge in bad habits ? Never drinks. Never smokes. (A rare virtue in doctors these days…. Believe me)
And he has utmost respect for elders and Indian traditions.
So, does being from a different religion over-shadows all other virtues ???
Or does religion or caste decide the real marital happiness ???
And today, I hear the most ridiculous thing of it all. While pressurizing her yet again her mother said something which was…. “I’ve kept you in my womb for nine months. Consider that as a debt. I beg you to repay me that debt now by ending your relationship.”
Is that why parents have kids ?? So they can demand the payment of their ‘debts’ at the expense of their kids’ happiness just to fulfill their unreasonable demands and the desire of a fake respect in the society… ?? The society, that is nowhere to be seen after the wedding dinner is over.
Should all the acts in life and results of relationships be assessed just by the decision of marriage ? Shouldn’t a girl be allowed to choose her own life-partner ?? Should she accept to be tied to a complete stranger who assumes that he owns her ?? Should she be even a bit considerate for parents who feel as if they’ve obliged her by bringing her into the world even though she is a girl ??
It boggles the mind….
But I do sincerely hope and pray to God, that, better sense may prevail and this girl must not face the fate so many other Indian girls face everyday.
And I also hope that more and more Indian girls stand up for not just their rights, but also for their dreams and aspirations.
