Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Being an Indian Girl...

You know what… I sometimes wonder how special would Indian girls feel. To be playing the role of a mother, daughter, sister and getting all the admiration that is showered on them.

But when, sometimes, I imagine, what if I was born as a girl in India…. I’m scared to the limits of my soul… !!! Makes my hair stand on end… !! Why ???

Ok. I’ll tell you about a real Indian girl whom I know.

This girl, is as simple as they come. She had always been the sincere daughter as was expected of her. Never ever asked anything for herself. Was always truthful to her parents. Studied hard to become a doctor. Kept studying hard to qualify for higher studies. When suddenly…….

She fell for a guy.

Someone, two years her senior. Someone, who really cared for her. Someone, who reciprocated her feelings in just the same way. Someone, who made her smile even through tough working hours. Someone, who made her feel really special. Someone, who fell for her just in the same way as she had for him.

So, where’s the problem ? It’s going perfectly fine, just like a fairytale, you would say….

Religion it is…. Now you realize this fairytale is Indian…. Don’t you ??

As per her nature, this girl didn’t want to hide her feelings from her family.

You must already be expecting what’s coming round the corner by now….

The bomb had been dropped…. !!! Sacrilege…. !!! Matter of life and death. No…. !!! It’s even more than just life and death. It’s about religion…. And respect….

Obviously, she was greeted with stern disapproval. An outright NO from her brother and mother. They didn’t have the heart to inform her father.

And then begins the tormenting. The increased commotion to find a ‘suitable’ match for her as soon as possible.

This girl, who hadn’t so much as had a proper conversation with any guy all her college life just because her family wouldn’t like it (Yes…. It’s true), gets constantly pestered by the same family now to talk on the phone or even meet total strangers, one of whom would be her ‘match’.

And as she refuses or even hesitates, the mother gets hysterical, stops eating, continues crying and using these as handy emotional blackmailing tools. While the brother tries to gather any cooked up shortcomings of her love-interest and threatens him of dire consequences.

The family are ready to stop at nothing. Even if it means stopping her from pursuing her studies altogether.

Why ?? Because she has let them down…. !

If I may ask,…. How has she let them down ? Is it by being a sincere, honest and selfless daughter all her life ? Or has she let them down by proving her merit in studies ? She could have gone and got married behind their backs. But she chose to tell her family the truth. Yes, she let them down.

If I may ask,…. Is the guy she chose unsuitable ?
Is he illiterate? NO.
Is he uneducated ? NO. Most highly educated.
Is he unemployed ? NO. And with a bright future indeed.
Is he a criminal ? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Is he indecent/manner less ? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Does he indulge in bad habits ? Never drinks. Never smokes. (A rare virtue in doctors these days…. Believe me)
And he has utmost respect for elders and Indian traditions.

So, does being from a different religion over-shadows all other virtues ???

Or does religion or caste decide the real marital happiness ???

And today, I hear the most ridiculous thing of it all. While pressurizing her yet again her mother said something which was…. “I’ve kept you in my womb for nine months. Consider that as a debt. I beg you to repay me that debt now by ending your relationship.”

Is that why parents have kids ?? So they can demand the payment of their ‘debts’ at the expense of their kids’ happiness just to fulfill their unreasonable demands and the desire of a fake respect in the society… ?? The society, that is nowhere to be seen after the wedding dinner is over.

Should all the acts in life and results of relationships be assessed just by the decision of marriage ? Shouldn’t a girl be allowed to choose her own life-partner ?? Should she accept to be tied to a complete stranger who assumes that he owns her ?? Should she be even a bit considerate for parents who feel as if they’ve obliged her by bringing her into the world even though she is a girl ??

It boggles the mind….

But I do sincerely hope and pray to God, that, better sense may prevail and this girl must not face the fate so many other Indian girls face everyday.

And I also hope that more and more Indian girls stand up for not just their rights, but also for their dreams and aspirations.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Thank You GOD !!!

Just a few of the reasons that make my life so so wonderful…….

The time when we first went for a bite… And I ended up spending my last penny for your insatiable wish for chocolates…

The way you would search for me, when you needed company… And the way I would accompany you to accomplish those difficult tasks…

The way you would listen to my heart’s call… Even when we were far apart… And call me up… Instantly… To make my day…

The times when you would snatch my papers… As I would fumble with them, dropping them around… And put everything right in order, to keep safely with you…

Those midnight calls… When I would listen while you wept… Ready to absorb all you worries, and sadness… And that feeling of satisfaction when you would laugh in the end…

The ways in which I would tease you… Without fail… And you would run around chasing me… And I would let you catch me eventually…. While you would punch me in the arm as hard as you could… That wonderful pain which would make me laugh so much…

The things you would make me do… Which no one else in the world could… (Including making me eat ‘Black Dal’ which I hated for dear life...)

Those wake-up calls which you would make… To make me rise, and study… Without fail… Every day…

That tone of panic and sound of worry in your voice… When I was due for my eye-surgery… And the cute and funny ‘sms’… Which you would send to make me laugh and be at ease… Though you weren’t at ease at all…

The way we would fight… And you would go away… And how we would always make-up… Me with a sorry… You with a punch to my arm again…

Those priceless little gifts… Which you gave me… And which, I still don’t allow anyone to so much as touch…

Those long drives… With just the two of us… While you emptied all the sorrows of your heart… And then quietly listened to my advises…

That simply marvelous ‘curry’… That fabulous ‘Maggi’… That awesome ‘I-still-don’t-know-what’ that you made for me… And how I always ended up licking my fingers…

The way you would suggest something silly… And I would scold you… And eventually would run around to my wits end to try to please you…

The hours I would spend on the phone… Trying to put some sense in your mind…

The way you would scold me… For not eating properly… And then I would eat…

Those little things… Some difficult things… Which I would go any lengths to do for you… Just to see that smile on your face…

That power you had… To make me accompany you inside a girls shop… Thoroughly enjoying the embarrassment I felt…

The way you would clutch my hand… When we would cross a road…

That time, sitting on the steps… Together… Amidst drops raining from dark clouds down the walls… And tears raining from your eyes down your cheeks…

That moment when I faced a loaded gun… Aimed at me… Just to get to meet you…

Those achievements of yours… Which always made me so proud…

The deepest secrets… Which I only shared with you… Those chapters of my life… Which no one else knows about…

Those sleepless nights… I’ve spent worrying about you… Hoping that you slept peacefully…

The sheer cuteness of it… When you called me up two hours before midnight… On my Birthday… To be the first one to wish me… (And then realized that in all the excitement to wish me, you had miscalculated the date and were a day before…)

The way you would always know… When there was something troubling me… And really pester me till I confessed it to you… (And the cute helplessness you had on your face if the problem would be beyond your powers of fixing… But you tried all the same...)

The fact I always knew… That you are always there… Just a call away… Whenever I need your support…

The inspiration of never giving-up… Which just your remembrance brings to me… Whenever I feel down in the dumps…

The way you made me laugh…

The way you made me cry…

The way you made me smile… And still do…

The million goose-bumps I had… When you tied that thread around my wrist… Giving me the happiness I never had felt before…

And the way… You still pester me like anything… To get you a ‘Bhabhi’

I could go on for ever… But for the mist in my eyes… Just like every time I miss you so much… Not my fault though… Because my emotions for you… Tend to escape through the eyes…

I miss you Dearest Sis

For the fact that you are so far away… Though you are still in my heart… And will be…. For always…

*** Dedicated to my sisters with whom I was not lucky enough to be born in the same family… But feel like the luckiest person to have found them en-route my journey of life… ***

Thank you God !!!

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