Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Being an Indian Girl...

You know what… I sometimes wonder how special would Indian girls feel. To be playing the role of a mother, daughter, sister and getting all the admiration that is showered on them.

But when, sometimes, I imagine, what if I was born as a girl in India…. I’m scared to the limits of my soul… !!! Makes my hair stand on end… !! Why ???

Ok. I’ll tell you about a real Indian girl whom I know.

This girl, is as simple as they come. She had always been the sincere daughter as was expected of her. Never ever asked anything for herself. Was always truthful to her parents. Studied hard to become a doctor. Kept studying hard to qualify for higher studies. When suddenly…….

She fell for a guy.

Someone, two years her senior. Someone, who really cared for her. Someone, who reciprocated her feelings in just the same way. Someone, who made her smile even through tough working hours. Someone, who made her feel really special. Someone, who fell for her just in the same way as she had for him.

So, where’s the problem ? It’s going perfectly fine, just like a fairytale, you would say….

Religion it is…. Now you realize this fairytale is Indian…. Don’t you ??

As per her nature, this girl didn’t want to hide her feelings from her family.

You must already be expecting what’s coming round the corner by now….

The bomb had been dropped…. !!! Sacrilege…. !!! Matter of life and death. No…. !!! It’s even more than just life and death. It’s about religion…. And respect….

Obviously, she was greeted with stern disapproval. An outright NO from her brother and mother. They didn’t have the heart to inform her father.

And then begins the tormenting. The increased commotion to find a ‘suitable’ match for her as soon as possible.

This girl, who hadn’t so much as had a proper conversation with any guy all her college life just because her family wouldn’t like it (Yes…. It’s true), gets constantly pestered by the same family now to talk on the phone or even meet total strangers, one of whom would be her ‘match’.

And as she refuses or even hesitates, the mother gets hysterical, stops eating, continues crying and using these as handy emotional blackmailing tools. While the brother tries to gather any cooked up shortcomings of her love-interest and threatens him of dire consequences.

The family are ready to stop at nothing. Even if it means stopping her from pursuing her studies altogether.

Why ?? Because she has let them down…. !

If I may ask,…. How has she let them down ? Is it by being a sincere, honest and selfless daughter all her life ? Or has she let them down by proving her merit in studies ? She could have gone and got married behind their backs. But she chose to tell her family the truth. Yes, she let them down.

If I may ask,…. Is the guy she chose unsuitable ?
Is he illiterate? NO.
Is he uneducated ? NO. Most highly educated.
Is he unemployed ? NO. And with a bright future indeed.
Is he a criminal ? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Is he indecent/manner less ? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Does he indulge in bad habits ? Never drinks. Never smokes. (A rare virtue in doctors these days…. Believe me)
And he has utmost respect for elders and Indian traditions.

So, does being from a different religion over-shadows all other virtues ???

Or does religion or caste decide the real marital happiness ???

And today, I hear the most ridiculous thing of it all. While pressurizing her yet again her mother said something which was…. “I’ve kept you in my womb for nine months. Consider that as a debt. I beg you to repay me that debt now by ending your relationship.”

Is that why parents have kids ?? So they can demand the payment of their ‘debts’ at the expense of their kids’ happiness just to fulfill their unreasonable demands and the desire of a fake respect in the society… ?? The society, that is nowhere to be seen after the wedding dinner is over.

Should all the acts in life and results of relationships be assessed just by the decision of marriage ? Shouldn’t a girl be allowed to choose her own life-partner ?? Should she accept to be tied to a complete stranger who assumes that he owns her ?? Should she be even a bit considerate for parents who feel as if they’ve obliged her by bringing her into the world even though she is a girl ??

It boggles the mind….

But I do sincerely hope and pray to God, that, better sense may prevail and this girl must not face the fate so many other Indian girls face everyday.

And I also hope that more and more Indian girls stand up for not just their rights, but also for their dreams and aspirations.


  1. Very well written man. Our society still lives for each other. As a geneticist I feel this retards the evolution of the gene pool and curbs nature.

  2. TAS :

    Exactly. It retards the gene pool as has happened with our country. Let's hope things change for the better.

  3. Oh god.. you write it so emotionally..too good.. couldnt agree more!

  4. evanescentthoughts :

    Thanks for your appreciation. :)

  5. Beautifully put across. Am exactly in the same situation ditto except that the profession is different...

  6. Sapi :

    Hey Sapna, I can very well imagine how tough it must be for you. But do keep hanging in. Please don't give in to pressures of unreasonable demands. There's nothing in this world that cannot be solved.

    I'm with you in this. Hope if I can be of any help. As for now, just keep a cool head and be positive. :)

  7. Indian girls...u dont know whta they go through. I am a pco girl, I suffered the ill nature of my mother from childhood. Her boyfriends, their abuses... all my depression. jealous relatives...despite all these i studied and became an engineer....My fucking life and my pcos made me totally .I was pretty...pcos made me ugly and depressed. My mom takes advantage of that. My parents convince me to get married to ugly guys since I have pcos. i have no dreams....nothing. I am completely mind fucked .....I have always felt like suicide....Atlast I found a office-mate...the only great two months of my life....the only days I felt happiness. I convinced my parents about him and later he broke up and withdrew from marrying me....his sick friends made promiscous stories about jealous friends too helped me better in breaking up with him. I was completely betrayed and again pulled into the hands of my parents---complete hell. I have started becoming insane......holy Gods whom I prayed to...who knows my innocence... and all the pains I took to do my studies...all the abuses I suffered...all the pain...all my disease...and most of all you know how much good I am to others around pains knew no bounds....I have thought of writing my complete story before I that the world sees the ugly people in my house who ruined each cell of mine.....Can u imagine a mother being happy on making her daughter completely heart broken....can u see this girl....who has an average wealthy family but has nothing to call her own? My parents gave me money to study as well as the obstacles for my personal and mental well being. They have been the most harsh parents. Cheers to you dad and mom. Live for your reputation... why do u have kids if u cant love them???? I spit on ur graves...this miserable daughter will go to hell or get married to that ass fuckers who doesnt withdraw their proposals even if I said NO...Pcos made me a overweight but not ugly thats why those ugly idiots are after me. No other parents will chose such bloody guys for a cute and well mannered, educated girl like me. There was only one guy who loved me despite of the current ugliness I a having. Even though he left me I will pray for him for the two months of happiness I had in my 25 years of shit. God please create more daugthers like me and they all turn insane and get fucked by ass holes. Please watch the game of their survival and consider urself supernatural causes of happiness. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    When I die make ill stories about my character ....
    thats what indian society does.
    Kill the innocent brutally...let the demons win
    U give demon parents to angelic daughters...
    no mattter how much they suffer , how much they care....they give their earnings to their family and still get shit in!!!!!!!!!!!!
    pls drink my blood after I die....this is for my parents....
    Keep my blood in ur refrigerator so that u can add into ur food daily else u ll deeply miss the person whom u could blame and ill treat for all your behavioral and mind fucked problems....

  8. Anonymous :

    I'm shocked and really shaken at your story. It's not even a story... Its real life... :(

    I use my blog here to challenge all those supporters of Indian values and culture to get a life instead of being dead and stand up and answer to all the questions this girl here has put up !

    There's no use of false honor and pride that you all say our values, culture and traditions give us until and unless you can stand up and answer the plights of all such girls !

    Shame on you all who make life hell for all those innocent Indian girls in the form of wife, daughter, sister in the name of honor and pride. You don't deserve to have any honor ! You can never have any honor !

    Anonymous girl, I'm with you against those demons. Your life is precious. Don't end it but use it to punish such demons in this very life.

  9. As I said, marriage in India are not about love or happiness but about all the other things. Emotional blackmails are commonplace, I have heard almost all the possible way they try to blackmail the kids.

    At times I wonder if these parents realize that they are putting the happiness/satisfaction of society before their kids(the ones whom they kept in their womb for 9 months) happiness. Here I thought the kid's happiness is the most important thing in any parents life!

  10. Richa :

    Exactly. Isn't it ridiculous to put the happiness (or rather the sadistic pleasure) of the society before the kids' happiness ?

    Wonder when will people learn to stop being a slave to the stupid society around them...

  11. It is really sad about Indian girl's life.. upon that however decent the gal is, there are eve-teasers on the road to make it worse..

  12. Preethika Shenoy Padiyar :

    You made a striking point there. Something I'll write about pretty soon.

  13. kazi prattasha habibJanuary 23, 2012 at 10:03 AM

    i am shocked to see how awful it can be for an Indian girl!its really sad.we have that kind of problems in our society too but none that i have come across personally. only read them in newspapers and articles. although the eve teasing problem is high in our country.
    keep up the good work.

    1. kazi prattasha habib :

      First of all, thank you for visiting and leaving your valuable comment. As for the conditions here, it pretty much is. And that is the reality. Where are you from ? Do keep visiting.

  14. Shobhit all i can say on this
    This is my story or pretty similar to mine :) I could actually recall things :)
    A good one showing a true a true picture of what is hiding behind this modernity.

    1. gitanjali :

      Ohh... was it ? Well, I can imagine the circumstances. Hope everything was fine in your case ultimately.



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