He suddenly opened his eyes wide. But all he could see was pitched darkness. He realized himself lying on his bed trying to recall the time since when he was asleep. Or was he unconscious… ?
He also realized that his abdomen had stopped hurting. He had lost track of when he had the last meal. It seemed like his stomach had gotten immune to the hunger pangs which his mind refused to acknowledge. His body seemed numb. He again tried to adjust his eyes to the complete darkness. The uselessness of the attempt made his mind to drown once again into the thoughts that had engulfed his mind. Engulfed his soul. Engulfed his very life. The thoughts of Her…
Once again he desperately tried to fight off the thoughts of the realization that in about twenty four hours time, she would belong to someone else… forever…
He clenched his fists and forced his eyes shut as if to prevent those images entering into his sight. But his eyelids couldn’t hold back what was brimming to spill over. And he could feel the cold traces of fluid which rolled over from the corners of his eyes moving across his face and falling on to the bed.
He gripped his head with his hands. His ears boomed with each beat of his heart. And the sounds kept getting louder and quicker. He knew he was hyperventilating, gasping for air. But little could he realize that it were the thoughts in his mind which were suffocating him. He tried hard to pick himself up from the bed and switched on the light. But once on his feet, he could feel his ears getting hot and strange sensations up in his nose. Something told him he was going to bleed through the nose.
He rushed inside the washroom and looked into the mirror. The face in the mirror looked hazy. Was it the mist in his own eyes… he thought. He quickly splashed handfuls of water on his face. And suddenly he noticed his fingernails which had turned to shades of purple. His fingertips felt numb. He looked up into the mirror. He had never tried to read his own eyes. But now he did. And they shouted back at him. He staggered back to the bed and slumped on it.
He could clearly feel his heartbeats racing like never before. His heart thumped heavily against his chest. His head seemed to be ready to burst any second. He reached out for his phone. He pushed the green button and saw her number right at the top. He remembered trying to call her many times… but pressing the red button before he could hear the bell ringing. He didn’t know what to say to her. Or how to say it. And the chain of thoughts began yet again.
It had been five days since he had seen her. And as each day passed, the levels of his anxiety reached a new high. He thought about talking to her. Telling her everything that was on his mind. The way she had captured all the available spaces in his heart. The way she was all around him.
He wanted to confess to her how he had been crazily searching for perfection all his life. And when he had finally been able to find that perfection, it wasn’t to be.
But then he thought about keeping everything concealed. Never to tell her how he felt about her. She had probably a happy life ahead in store for her. He didn’t want to disturb her in the most important phase of her life. Though he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it. But he wanted her peace of mind.
He was still fiddling with his phone. Watching her Facebook wall over and over again like the countless times in the past few days. And then he came on to a quote which said, “Nobody Will Know What’s Going in Your Mind… Its Better To Express Rather Than to Expect”.
And he knew what he was going to do. He wasn’t going to leave the world one day with the regret of not letting her know what he felt for her. He wasn’t afraid of the consequences now. He had to talk to her. And he pressed the green button.
He opened his eyes as the sunrays hit his face through the open window. He was sprawled on his bed with half of his body on the floor. He jumped up to check the time in the clock on the wall. It was already 12 noon. She was getting married that very night.
How did he fall asleep ??? Maybe the lack of sleep for almost an entire week had taken its toll on him. He had to rush. He didn’t have any time.
It was already 1 pm as he walked towards the grandly decorated gate of the palatial building. There was brisk activity all around. People ran around with stuff while others shouted orders. He scanned the area twice to check for any possible hindrances. He rehearsed his words again in his mind, took a deep breath and moved inside the house.
He knew that asking for the bride’s father wouldn’t be much of a difficulty. People had enough on their hands already. So, no one even bothered to ask him any further details as one elderly man directed him towards the entrance of the room where he would find her father.
As he stepped up towards the door, for once his heart leapt up into his mouth and then settled back in its place. He knew now there was no turning back. And he stepped inside the room.
The only occupant of the room who was talking animatedly into a telephone had his back towards the door. He at once recognized him as her dad. The man was well known figure in the city’s who’s who and looked all the more imposing in his white dress.
“Yes… ??” He boomed back as he smashed the receiver back on the table and turned.
“What do you want ?” He enquired again.
“Namaste…” He folded his hands and introduced himself.
“Oh. So you are her classmate ? But she is very busy right now. I hope she invited you for the wedding tonight… ??” The father asked.
He swallowed once. And hardly taking another breath, he slowly said…
“Sir, I am in love with your daughter. And she is in love with me. And I humbly ask you to…….”
He couldn’t complete his sentence before he saw the color of blood in her dad’s eyes as the man in white leapt at him in utter rage.
(to be continued.......)
Image courtesy : Google Images