Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Rants of a Retard...

“What ?? You still haven’t watched it ?”

“No ! Just been busy with things… ”

“Oh come on. I thought you loved comedies. This one is a masterpiece. You cannot miss it.”

“Umm… Yeah… Hmm…” I replied.

The above was just a part of the small pleasantries I exchanged with a family-friend over our dinner plates at a party recently. This family-friend, who is just about my age, was trying his best to pull me into the conversation and get me to talk. But since I’m the perpetual listener and also, when there’s food at hand, my mouth turns into a one-way passage, he was having a real tough time getting me to speak. So, in what seemed like an act of desperation, he brought up the topic of a movie.

Those who know me properly, know rather well that I don’t watch any new Hindi movies. And certainly not in a movie-theatre. A few of my mates at college learnt this the hard way when they planned the celebration of one of our friend’s birthday which included a movie followed by a grand dinner. The only snag in all the planning was that I wasn’t informed about the movie bit. Well, they managed to sell off my ticket outside the theatre premises in the end. But not before having a harrowing time trying to coax/plead me into entering the theatre.

Coming back to the earlier discussion, this family-friend was going over the top about a new movie which had something to do with people acquiring intestinal infection in the city of Delhi. Something about which I have been ridiculed by people more than a few times about liking comedies but having still not seen this one.

Over the past month or so, I had read, heard and been updated (on Facebook) a bit too much about this particular movie. Almost half of my friends on Facebook had used words like ‘awesome’, ‘loved it’, ‘coolest movie ever’, ‘laughed till I cried’, ‘mind-blowing’, and other words to that effect to describe what they saw. Obviously, I was intrigued. So while talking to one of my friends who is a movie freak, I asked him. To which he curtly replied.

“Yes. I watched it. And NO !!! It’s not for you !

Knowing how well my friends know me, I didn’t need a second opinion about whether to watch the movie, even if people labeled it as the best comedy ever, or not. But as I hopped onto one review after another on the several blogs I regularly read, I realized how I missed those statutory warning many of my friends had included in their rave reviews on Facebook, some of which clearly mentioned not to take kids along to watch the movie.

Now, what comedy would it be which wouldn’t amuse kids ? I never knew there would be things funny enough only to make adults laugh. So when I make myself remember that I’m well past the legal age of adulthood, I’m still very stymied when I try to think of things that would be considered humorous only for grown ups.

Which ultimately forces me to accept the fact that I’m a retard as far as the sense of humor is concerned.

After going through the countless reviews about the movie, I came to know that this is another of the many works of Aamir Khan. (Please correct me if I’m wrong) And so, it had to be a masterpiece. People say that, as always, he has managed to come up with something different. But they also say that the movie portrays the reality of today’s life.

Ummm… So how is reality different ??? (My retarded mind trying harder to make some sense.)

As per the reviews I’ve read, the movie is about three bachelors living their life out in the city of Delhi. And the movie doesn’t hold back in portraying any of the waste material which is either in their mind which exits through their mouths or the waste matter in their bodies which exits as well.

I try to find humor in such scenarios. But my retarded mind refuses to budge. Ohhh… when will I grow up enough to be able to laugh my head off when I see people abusing each other ?? Or at the sight of events that take place inside a loo ?? Surely the plot must be full of hilarious situations consisting of some un-mentionable acts. But as they put it… it is aimed at matured audiences. Not for retards like me.

So I’ve decided to give this amazing movie a skip. (something which would have happened otherwise too if it wouldn’t have been for such delirious reviews) Even though it’s one of Aamir Khan’s works (who has given us oldies like Dil Hai Ki Manta Nahin, Hum Hain Raahi Pyar Ke and the one and only Andaz Apna Apna) I’m not keen to give it even a passing look.

No. I’m not one of those intolerants who take up arms and run off to tear down posters and burn effigies. I agree that everyone has their own tastes for humor. Just that I have still to grow up a lot to start recognizing such a taste. Because watching the actions which go on below people’s pelvises, whether in the bathroom or the bedroom, doesn’t tickle my humerus one bit. Sad, but true !!!

But, this poor soul who is a big time retard as far as the sense of humor is concerned, humbly pleads to all to spare him the ridicule of not being able to applaud supposedly the greatest comedy movies ever made.

PS : The following is a compilation of some of the movies which always have me in splits. And the last clip is my preferred version of the plot about three young bachelors sharing a room in the city of Delhi.

(Images courtesy : Google Images)


  1. It's cool :) Not everyone finds stuff like that funny.
    "Ummm… So how is reality different ???" : well, for a street child his reality might be waking up at 5 to go look for work, while for a well-off kid the reality may be being woken up at 7 by his doting mother to go to school.

  2. cricketfreak :

    :-) Well, yes.

    Reality is different for different people. But what I meant was how is a person's own reality different for him/her when it is portrayed on the screen. :-)

  3. Delhi Belly is sure worth a watch to see how sleazy film makers can get and sell something in the name of reality. Some part of it is funny though, but every part was way far from reality.

    Be glad you missed it :)

  4. Soumya :

    You bet ! :-)

    And I wonder why they need to disguise in the form of reality and comedy to get their film sold. And I take it when you say it's way far from reality. :-)

  5. Okay I understand. I belong to your category for sure, because even I cant find such movies funny. I gave that movie a slip too. I did not find "3 idiots" funny. Every other person has been raving about it. But the humor was not my kind. I like your compilation :)
    Watch "Phas gaya re Obama" and "Bin Tere Laden". These two are full of good humor, not like the other movies we see these days. I enjoyed both these movies. Too funny!

  6. bummed that you thought it okay to use the word retard as a slur.

  7. Well am glad someone thinks like me! I watched the movie... and realized its not for me! To each his own i guess! :)

    First time at your blog.. Following you!

  8. evanescentthoughts :


    Even I've not seen that "3 idiots" one. And also not the two you mentioned. Knowing that we share similar tastes, would have a look whenever I can. :-)

    Thanks for completing the tag. Going on to check it on your blog. :-)

  9. Anonymous :

    Thanks for pointing out that the word retard could be used as a slur as well. Too bad I couldn't think of it before. :-)

  10. TheGirlAtFirstAvenue :

    Welcome to my blog ! :-)

    Yes, that's what I tried to convey. To each his own. But why to ridicule someone just because he/she is not 'upto' your 'taste'. :-) Everyone has their own tastes.

    Thanks for reading. :-)

  11. Most of what we see today is crass, juvenile comedy. But if one can laugh heartily in cinema halls it is cathartic...howmuch do we laugh anyway?
    I dont remember having a good laugh in a long long time..

  12. Alka Gurha :


    I don't have a problem with anyone having a hearty laugh. And it is a fact that everyone's taste differs. But why should someone ridicule another for not having a taste similar to his/her ?

    I remember there was a movie called 'Dhamaal' not so long ago which was plain silly and really comic. I've seen a few comic scenes from that one on the telly. But no one I know of talked about it being one worth a good laugh. Incidentally, it wasn't full of below the belt topics or unmentionable words of communication.

    Again, I know tastes differ. But what amazes me is that how people are extremely amused by stuff that's considered gross. Once again, what's gross for me may not be gross for others. But that doesn't mean I become an outcast. :-)

    People are entitled to like what they enjoy. But without imposing their tastes on others. :-)

  13. We think a lot similar... :) Who said grown ups like this kind of humor? My parents did not like it too and they suggest people not to watch it.. In fact I don't know one person who liked it.. You cant ridicule someone for their tastes.. But if someone would say they 'loved' Delhi Belly, I would judge the person as, for the lack of better word, cheap...

    I don't really know who would watch it... Parents will not watch it... and they will not let their kids watch it... Old people will never go for it... They will have a big no no for normal movies as well... A little percent of college students, bachelors and married ones (without kids of course) might watch it... Some people might watch it in the name of Aamir Khan.. I don't know where the reality is related here... I guess they wanted to show the reality of ppl going to the loo.. I don't see anything else real in the trailers... Thank god I missed the movie...

    Nice post... Loved it.. :D

  14. Preethika Shenoy Padiyar :


    I was amazed to see the number of people (specially around northern India) going crazy about the movie. What I personally came to understand was that people found it amusing to watch things on the screen which are usually not acceptable otherwise. In fact, it seems that people were more interested to see such things be portrayed so openly rather than actually enjoy it because of some humor.

    Just because every other person these days enjoys exchanging abuses (surely not in front of one's own family) they are more than happy to see it on the screen in the name of reality. Same goes for sleaze.

    But personally, I don't find any fun watching two people bad-mouthing each other or doing stuff that wouldn't even be talked about publicly, let alone be shown on screen. But though the movie is intended for mature audiences, I don't find anything mature about enjoying such stuff.

    But as I said above, people have their own tastes. And they should let me keep mine too.

    I know we have similar tastes. Glad that you liked the post. :-)

  15. It's a comedy, sure. But it definitely is not the greatest comedy ever made. It's a one-time watch. And you don't have to feel like a retard for not watching it or comprehending it. If that's the case, I should also feel like one for not liking Dhobi Ghaat all that much, which was supposed to be sort of path-breaking cinema and all. :/

  16. Spaceman Spiff :


    I know. But there are people who believe that I have a seriously impaired sense of humor if I don't find anything funny with the stuff that's shown in this particular movie. :-/ So, this post is intended towards those very people.

    By the way, was there a movie called Dhobi Ghaat ? :P Sorry, but I plead to be excused for my ignorance. :D

  17. I was pretty sure I was going to hate the movie because I've never been too into toilet humour or violence of any sort, and I'm hardly tolerant of abusive language. But when I saw the movie, I discovered that my assessment of myself wasn't spot on. I really enjoyed the movie. I can't say the same of everyone I know, though. Some loved it, some thought it was overrated, and some hated it.
    The point I'm getting at is that tastes are funny things. They tend to vary. :P I completely understand if you know you won't like it. You probably won't. It isn't because your sense of humour is retarded, it's because your sense of humour is a little more mature. Because toilet humour is neither classy, nor mature. (It's funny, though. At least to me. :P)
    PS: I really hate people who try to dump their tastes on other people. :x We're not clones, we're people. And different people usually tend to think differently.

  18. PencilGirl :

    You conveyed in your comment exactly my point.

    "We're not clones, we're people. And different people usually tend to think differently."

    That's exactly what I wanted to point out. :-)



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